


Group Chats Are A Bad Idea (Sophomore Year)

by Too_Punk_Rock_To_Function



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bert is an ACTUAL Dick, Crushes, FUCK BERT, Fluff, Group chat, I SWEAR ITS CUTE, M/M, Multi, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, its cute, lots of idiots in love, pete is a dick, sad sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-08-09 22:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 9,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Too_Punk_Rock_To_Function/pseuds/Too_Punk_Rock_To_Function
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon Urie starts a chat group.</p><p>And oh my god is it messy.</p><p>And obviously it will get messier, the more friends he makes.</p><p>Also.<br/>You.<br/>Can't.<br/>Escape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There's No Escape

_5Head4Ever added Pepe_Wntz, Patt-er-ick-Tree, HaveYouMetMySonDallon, Hoe-tr-Hoe-man and AndreeeewHurled to the conversation._

5Head4Ever: What is up, my dudes?

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Brendon  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: It is 3:24  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: In the morning  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: What do you want?

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: isn't that a vine??????

_5Head4Ever has renamed the conversation to We Are From, The Lollypop Guild_

Pepe_Wntz: No  
Pepe_Wntz: You uncultured swine

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: i did not come here to be abused

_HaveYouMetMySonDallon has left the conversation_

_5Head4Ever has added HaveYouMetMySonDallon to the conversation_

5Head4Ever: There is not escape you elderly professor

Pepe_Wntz: The vine is the guy in the Spiderman suit and goggles and he says 'It is Wednesday, my Dudes' before screeching into a mirror

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: please let me sleep  
HaveYouMetMySonDallon: we have school tomorrow

Pepe_Wntz: Your point?????????

Patt-er-ick-Tree: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: YOU TRASH MONSTERS

5Head4Ever: MY SON  
5Head4Ever: YOU HAVE SWORN  
5Head4Ever: APOLOGISE  
5Head4Ever: FOR YOU HAVE SINNED

Patt-er-ick-Tree: I'M OLDER THAN YOUR ASS

5Head4Ever: PATERICK  
5Head4Ever: WAT R U DOIN  
5Head4Ever: THE BALANCE OF THE UNIVERS HAS BEEN THROWN OFF  
5Head4Ever: THE WIRLD HAS ENDED  
5Head4Ever: Guys?  
5Head4Ever: Don't sleep  
5Head4Ever: Guys?????  
5Head4Ever: Fuck you all

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: no thank

5Head4Ever: No choice babe

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: no thank

5Head4Ever: What do you mean 'no thank'????

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: sleep

5Head4Ever: Ugh  
5Head4Ever: You suck

_5Head4Ever has left the conversation_

_Pepe_Wntz has added 5Head4Ever to the conversation_

Pepe_Wntz: If we can't leave, neither can you

5Head4Ever: Fuck

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: wtf is happening????  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: wat did i miss????  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: why so fcking early????

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, my sons


	2. Memes + Gay Jokes = Broken Hearts

_ **2:34** _

_ **  
We Are From, The Lollypop Guild** _

 

 

AndreeeewHurled: You spelt Lollipop wrong

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: Andrew  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: U should not  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: Be texting  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: in class

AndreeeewHurled: You can't talk Joesph

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: Ur correct tho  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: Brandon  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: Ur the worst English major on the planet

5Head4Ever: Oi nah, fuck off

_5Head4Ever has renamed the conversation from We Are From, The Lollypop Guild to We Are From, The LOLLIPOP Guild, Happy Fuckers?_

AndreeeewHurled: Now that's just rude

5Head4Ever: You know what  
5Head4Ever: You're rude

_AndreeeewHurled has left the conversation_

_5Head4Ever has added AndreeeewHurled to the conversation_

5Head4Ever: What have I said about escaping????

Patt-er-ick-Tree: I'M GONNA GET IN TROUBLE

Pepe_Wntz: Text  
Pepe_Wntz: Text  
Pepe_Wntz: Text  
Pepe_Wntz: Text  
Pepe_Wntz: Text

5Head4Ever: Text  
5Head4Ever: Text

Pepe_Wntz: Text

5Head4Ever: Text

Patt-er-ick-Tree: STOP IT THE TEACHER IS LIKE RI

Pepe_Wntz: Pat?

5Head4Ever: Patty Cakes??

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: HE JUST GOT HIS PHONE TAKEN  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: HE'S TRYING 2 BLAME ME  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: OH GOD  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: THIS IS SO FUNNY

AndreeeewHurled: NO WAY

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: ill be next  
HaveYouMetMySonDallon: brendon, youre an idiot

5Head4Ever: At least I have grammar, young Padawan

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: go suck a dick

5Head4Ever: Why? Are you offering? ;)

AndreeeewHurled: MY EYES  
AndreeeewHurled: MY INNOCENCE

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: I AM A CHANGED MAN  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: TOO MUC INFO  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man:NWAY TOO UCH INFOM

HaveYouMetMySonDallon: nope, fuck off

5Head4Ever: Daaaaaaaaaalllllllooonnnnnn!!! :((((  
5Head4Ever: Please!!  
5Head4Ever: Come Back!!!!!

_HaveYouMetMySonDallon has changed his name to BrandonIsADick_

BrandonIsADick: i have a new best friend

5Head4Ever: WHAT  
5Head4Ever: WHAT  
5Head4Ever: ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS  
5Head4Ever: DALLON

_BrandonIsADick has added My_Names_Blurryface_

_BrandonIsADick has renamed the conversation from We Are From, The LOLLIPOP Guild, Happy Fuckers? to Brandon Is A Dick_

My_Names_Blurryface: I don't wanna be here  
My_Names_Blurryface: Brendon I have no part in this, please don't hurt

5Head4Ever: DALLON  
5Head4Ever: DALLON PLEASE  
5Head4Ever: I WAS KIDDING  
5Head4Ever: TYLER, WHERE IS DALLON

My_Names_Blurryface: I don't know. He just ran out of the class

5Head4Ever: YOU'D THINK IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR SOMEONE WHO IS 6'3 TO DISAPPEAR WITHOUT A TRACE

  
***\|/***

  
**_Dall_ **

5Head4Ever: Dall?  
5Head4Ever: Dall, I'm sorry  
5Head4Ever: Come on, I was kidding  
5Head4Ever: I love you  
5Head4Ever: Dall?  
5Head4Ever: Dall, I'll stop making gay jokes  
5Head4Ever: Dall?

BrandonIsADick: its not the gay jokes

5Head4Ever: What is it?  
5Head4Ever: You can tell me anything Dall

BrandonIsADick: no

5Head4Ever: Yes  
5Head4Ever: I promise I won't judge

BrandonIsADick: youll hate me forever

5Head4Ever: No I won't  
5Head4Ever: Swear on everything

BrandonIsADick: meet me at bathrooms on the third floor

5Head4Ever: How'd you get there so quickly?  
5Head4Ever: Actually don't worry

  
***\|/***

  
_ **Brandon Is A Dick** _

Pepe_Wntz: This is a fuckig train wreck  
Pepe_Wntz: What happened?

My_Names_Blurryface: Brendon was being Brendon and for some reason Dallon freaked out.

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: Yeah, it was rlly weird  
Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: he just left

AndreeeewHurled: I'm really confused  
AndreeeewHurled: Can anyone get onto them?

Pepe_Wntz: I just tried  
Pepe_Wntz: Nothing

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: nothing here either

My_Names_Blurryface: I got nothing either

_Pepe_Wntz has renamed the conversation from Brandon Is A Dick to Keep Us Updated_

 

**_ 3:31 _ **

  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: Got my phone back  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: Got nothing either

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHARACTER
> 
> Tyler my smol child, has been added.
> 
> Some notes;  
> Anytime you see this *\|/* symbol, it means someone is switching convos
> 
> The Bolded Italic Underlined things at the start of each conversation is the name of the conversation.
> 
> There are only two conversations currently 'Dall' (which is just Brendon and Dallon) and 'Keep Us Updated'.
> 
> Hope this clears some shit up.
> 
>  
> 
> :P


	3. Bathroom Floors Are A Bad Place To Kiss

  
Pepe_Wntz: Has anyone seen Dallon?

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Nope

_Pepe_Wntz has changed their name to PizzaMyLove_

PizzaMyLove: I'm worried

AndreeeewHurled: Brendon hasn't been talking either

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: rlly, pizzamylove??????

PizzaMyLove: Yes Hoe

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: thats it

_Hoe-tr-Hoe-man has left the conversation_

_PizzaMyLove has added Hoe-tr-Hoe-man to the conversation_

Hoe-tr-Hoe-man: I h8 u all

_Hoe-tr-Hoe-man changed their name to God_

God: HA

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Did you just change your name to God?

God: Yes, I am embracing my religion

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Okay, Joe, embrace you're Jewishness

My_Names_Blurryface: I didn't know you were Jewish

God: well I am

My_Names_Blurryface: Wild

 

 

  
_Four Days Later. . ._

 

 

 

**_ 4:23 _ **

**__ **

**_ Keep Us Updated _ **

  
5Head4Ever: Dallon Kissed me

PizzaMyLove: WHAT  
PizzaMyLove: WHAT  
PizzaMyLove: WHAT

AndreeeewHurled: wHAT

Patt-er-ick-Tree: What do you want at four in the morning

My_Names_Blurryface: DALLON KISSED YOU

Patt-er-ick-Tree: WHAT  
Patt-er-ick-Tree WHEN

5Head4Ever: He ran away

PizzaMyLove: WHAT  
PizzaMyLove: WHAT

My_Names_Blurryface: WHAG DO YOU MENA HE RAN AWAY  
My_Names_Blurryface: THIS IS HUGE

Patt-er-ick-Tree: GO TO HIS HOUSE YOU DUMB FUCK

5Head4Ever: PATERICK  
5Head4Ever: I CAN NOT GO OVER NOW  
5Head4Ever: AND DON'T SWEAR MY SON

My_Names_Blurryface: WAIT  
My_Names_Blurryface: DO YOU EVEN LIKE HIM  
My_Names_Blurryface: LIKE, WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN

5Head4Ever: I think so  
5Head4Ever: Like, he's a big awkward dork, who can't life very well.  
5Head4Ever: But maybe I kinda want him to be MY big awkward dork, who can't life very well  
5Head4Ever: He needs someone to look after him

Patt-er-ick-Tree: THE GO

God: I FALL ASLEEP FOR TWO MINUTES AND THIS HAPPENS  
God: IF YOU DON'T GO AFTER HIM I WILL

PizzaMyLove: JOE, WHAT THE FUCK

God: MOTIVATION MY FRIEND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brallon
> 
> This will be one of the many ships I shall write about.
> 
> So cute


	4. Poor Frankie

5Head4Ever: Okay, so I went to Dallon's house and his neighbour was there and I was like, who the fuck are you?! and he was like, hi, I'm Frank and I was like but who are you and then he was like I'm Dallon's neighbour, we're really good friends and then I was like, weird Dallon never mentioned you and then he just shuffled awkwardly and says yeah that's probably cause the whole school doesn't like me and I was like what do you mean and then he's like you probably know me as the fight kid and I was like OMG FIGHT KID IS REAL #EXPOSED I THOUGHT YOU WERE A MYTH, LIKE NO ONE HASE EVER SEEN YOU BEFORE AND HE LOoked so close to crying and he just pointed me inside before bolting out and now I feel really bad, cause like, I shouldn't have Made him feel so uncomfortable, you feel me?

PizzaMyLove: Boo, you suck

God: Tell Dallon to invite him into the chat

AndreeeewHurled: WHAT DID DALLON SAY

BrandonIsADick: fuck, you told everyone

My_Names_Blurryface: MY SON DALLON

YHWH: DALLON

AndreeeewHurled: DALLON

PizzaMyLove: DALLON

Patt-er-ick-Tree: DALLON

_God has changed their name to StJosephThePatronStOfDying_

5Head4Ever: Sorry, I panicked

PizzaMyLove: Don't you mean panic!ked

BrandonIsADick: what the fuck pete

PizzaMyLove: Idk what the fuck back at you

_BrandonIsADick has changed their name to Your5HeadIsMy4Ever_

5Head4Ever: I see how it is

_5Head4Ever has changed their name to HaveYouMetMySunDallon_

PizzaMyLove: YOU TWO ARE THE CUTEST SHIT EVER  
PizzaMyLove: ADD YOUR FRIEND  
PizzaMyLove: HE IS OUTCAST. HE MUST JOIN US

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: JOIN US

My_Names_Blurryface: JOIN US

AndreeeewHurled: JOIN US

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: JOIN US

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Join us?

_Your5HeadIsMy4Ever has added FrnkLero to the group_

FrnkLero: Umm  
FrnkLero: Hi

PizzaMyLove: WELCOME  
PizzaMyLove: TO OUR HUMBLE ABODE  
PizzaMyLove: YOU MUST BE FIGHT KID

FrnkLero: Yes, I'm sorry, but who are you all?

PizzaMyLove: I AM PETE WENTZ

Patt-er-ick-Tree: I'm Patrick Stump

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: I Am Brendon Urie

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: you know who i am

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: I Am Joe Trohman

AndreeeewHurled: Andrew Hurley

_PizzaMyLove has renamed the conversation from Keep Us Updated to The Outcasts of ClusterFuck High_

FrnkLero: Fairly accurate  
FrnkLero: And appropriate.

PizzaMyLove: So, Fight Kid, is that your real name?

FrnkLero: No, it's Frank, but I missed putting the A in my name and my last name is actually Iero but I fucked up again and put in an L. Too lazy to change that shit.

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Well then, welcome Frank Iero

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Welcome to Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FRANK
> 
> WE ARE GETTIG THERE MY FRENS


	5. The Moral Of This Story Is BERT Sucks

_**8:35** _

 

_**The Outcasts Of ClusterFuck High** _

 

 

FrnkLero: MCKRAKEN IS A DICK

Patt-er-ick-Tree: What's he done now?

AndreeeewHurled: I heard he's dating that mute kid Gerald or something

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Gerard?  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: The art kid?  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: That never goes to school?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Wait  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: You mean the kid that everyone knows of but has never seen?

FrnkLero: GERARD IS MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND  
FrnkLero: HE IS DATING  
FrnkLero: MY BEST FRIEND  
FrnkLero: BERT BULLIES HIM YOU GUYS

Patt-er-ick-Tree: WHAT

AndreeeewHurled: NO WAY

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: no way. gerard is 2 nice to date that fuck

FrnkLero: YOU KNOW GERARD

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: yeah he and i did a project 1 time  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: he didn't talk  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: like at all  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: but he had some killer info  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: and he helped me through figuring out that im ace

FrnkLero: WHAT DO WE DO

AndreeeewHurled: I'm gonna sound like a total dick right now  
AndreeeewHurled: But what if he actually wants to date Bert?

FrnkLero: DID YOU NOT JUST HERE ME  
FrnkLero: YOU CHICKEN FRIED PIECE OF FUCK  
FrnkLero: BERT BULLIES HIM  
FrnkLero: I HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT

_FrnkLero has left the conversation_

_HaveYouMetMySunDallon has added FrnkLero to the conversation_

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ONCE YOU'RE HERE

Patt-er-ick-Tree: OKAY CHILL  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: Yelling and panicking will not help

PizzaMyLove: (panic!king)

FrnkLero: THIS IS FUCKING SERIOUS YOU TRASH BASKET  
FrnkLero: But your right Patrick, what should we do?

Patt-er-ick-Tree: I don't know Frank  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: Just wait it out

FrnkLero: You  
FrnkLero: Are  
FrnkLero: The  
FrnkLero: Worst  
FrnkLero: Advice  
FrnkLero: Giver  
FrnkLero: On  
FrnkLero: This  
FrnkLero: Forsaken  
FrnkLero: Planet  
FrnkLero: Just so you know

PizzaMyLove: I KNOW  
PizzaMyLove: When my goldfish died  
PizzaMyLove: And I asked him what colour the grave stone flowers should be  
PizzaMyLove: He told me it was just a fish  
PizzaMyLove: And asked me why I was putting so much effort into it.  
PizzaMyLove: You wound me  
PizzaMyLove: You shot me  
PizzaMyLove: I thought you loved me  
PizzaMyLove: I loved you  
PizzaMyLove: And you betrayed me

AndreeeewHurled: PATRICK

Patt-er-ick-Tree: WHAT  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: IT SEEMED EXCESSIVE

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: BLOB GLOBENSTEIN WAS A BLESSING 2 THIS EARTH YOU POTATO  
StJosephThePatronStOfDying: HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT BLOB GLOBENSTEIN

_StJoesphThePatronStOfDying has renamed the conversation from The Outcasts of ClusterFuck High to FREE BLOB GLOBENSTEIN! FREE HIM_

Patt-er-ick-Tree: Oh My GOD

PizzaMyLove: FREE HIM

FrnkLero: FREE HIM

AndreeeewHurled: FREE HIM

My_Names_Blurryface: FREE HIM

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: FREE HIM

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: FREE HIM

Patt-er-ick-Tree: I literally hate all of you, so much

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: SQUARE UP PAT

Patt-er-ick-Tree: I'm not squaring up

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: I SAID  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: SQUARE THE FUCK UP PAT

Patt-er-ick-Tree: You're insane

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: I HOPE U KNOW I AM RUNNING 2 UR HOUSE 2 FITE

Patt-er-ick-Tree: No you're not

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: okay  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: ive been ignoring this conversation so far  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: because i hate you all  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: but why is joe running down the street wearing pokemon pyjamas shouting FREE HIM?  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: and does this have anything to him wanting to fight you??

Patt-er-ick-Tree: HE IS ACTUALLY RUNNING TO MY HOUSE??

PizzaMyLove: THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS

My_Names_Blurryface: FILM IT JOE  
My_Names_Blurryface: FILM IT

Patt-er-ick-Tree: WHAT THE FUCK  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: HE JUST RAN PAST MY WINDOW  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: OH MY GOD  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: HES BANGING ON MY DOOR  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: MY MUM IS GONNA BE SO PISSED

PizzaMyLove: THATS WHAT YOU GET

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: NOBODY DISRESPECTS BLOB PAT  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: NOBODY

Patt-er-ick-Tree: I hate all of you  
Patt-er-ick-Tree: Go die

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: FITE ME  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: YOU UNDERCOOKED ASPARAGUS

My_Names_Blurryface: I'M DEAD  
My_Names_Blurryface: IM FUCKIN DEAD

PizzaMyLove: I JUST FUCKING SPAT EVERYWHERE

FrnkLero: OMFG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I don't even know what that was.
> 
> Comment your favourite weird insult and maybe you'll see it in an upcoming chapter ;)


	6. The Offspring Somehow Becomes The Basis Of This Chat

** 1:24 **

****

** FREE BLOB GLOBENSTEIN! FREE HIM **

 

My_Names_Blurryface: MY FRIENDS GOT A GIRLFRIEND  
My_Names_Blurryface: AND HE HATES THAT BITCH  
My_Names_Blurryface: HE TELLS ME EVERYDAY  
My_Names_Blurryface: HE SAYS MAN

FrnkLero: I REALLY GOTTA LOSE MY CHICK

AndreeeewHurled: Why must this always happen at an ungodly hour

FrnkLero: IN THE WORST  
My_Names_Blurrface: KINDA WAY

AndreeeewHurled: Why am I friends with insomniacs??

Patt-er-ick-Tree: GO TO SLEEP

FrnkLero: SHE SITS ON HER ASS

My_Names_Blurryface: HE WORKS HIS HANDS TO THE BONE

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: listen  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: as much as i love the offspring  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: i cant at 1:30

PizzaMyLove: I WANT TO LISTEN TO THE OFFSPRING

Patt-er-ick-Tree: NO

FrnkLero: I wanna listen to Th Offspring with Gee :(

PizzaMyLove: Then do it?  
PizzaMyLove: You guys are always together anyway

FrnkLero: Not since they started dating Bert  
FrnkLero: In fact  
FrnkLero: I don't think I've seen Gee in the past three months they've been dating  
FrnkLero: Apart from like  
FrnkLero: Seeing them in the hallways at school and stuff

_Patt-er-ick-Tree has changed their name to Uma-Thurman_

PizzaMyLove: That's some shady shit right there

AndreeeewHurled: Umm  
AndreeeewHurled: Patt?  
AndreeeewHurled: You okay bro?

Uma-Thurman: NO  
Uma-Thurman: I WATCHED FUCKING UMA THURMAN IN THAT BATMAN MOVIE OR WHATEVER  
Uma-Thurman: AND IM FUCKING IN LOVE

PizzaMyLove: O-kay  
PizzaMyLove: Anyway, that's really weird Franklin

FrnkLero: I KNOW  
FrnkLero: I hope their okay

PizzaMyLove: Why don't you add them to the chat?

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: INVITE MY SON  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: DO IT

FrnkLero: I'll try, he'd be up now anyway

_FrnkLero has added ScareardWay to the conversation_

FrnkLero: Gee?  
FrnkLero: Are you up friend?

ScareardWay: Frankie, what do you want, Bert's trying to sleep  
ScareardWay: He'll be pissed if he wakes up

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: why will he be pissed gerard?

ScareardWay: Joe?  
ScareardWay: I haven't seen you since the start of this year

ScareardWay: Wait is this a group chat?

ScareardWay: Frankie I can't do this

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: yes  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: and quit trying to change the subject  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: why Will he be piSsed?

FrnkLero: Wait  
FrnkLero: YOU ARE AT HIS HOUSE??!?!?!?

ScareardWay: Please don't me mad Frankie  
ScareardWay: I gotta go  
ScareardWay: He's waking up

FrnkLero: GEE??

Uma-Thurman: Gerard?

PizzaMyLove: What the fuck  
PizzaMyLove: Come back

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Why is it that I have the overwhelming and almost completely irrational feeling that I must protect him?  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Even though I only just met him?  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: And haven't even said a word to him?  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Or seen him before in my life?

FrnkLero: He has that affect on people

AndreeeewHurled: Gerard?

ScareardWay: Fuck off, leave my BOYFRIEND alone you freaks

_ScareardWay has left the conversation_

_PizzaMyLove has added ScareardWay to the conversation_

PizzaMyLove: No can do DickWeed

FrnkLero: Put Gee back on  
FrnkLero: And stop mis gendering him you piece of shit

ScareardWay: Fuck off midget.  
ScareardWay: Just because I got HIM before your suicidal ass  
ScareardWay: Won't make HIM fall in love with you because you entertain HIS ridiculous fantasys  
ScareardWay: He has a dick between his legs  
ScareardWay: I should know ;)  
ScareardWay: And stop trying to talk to him, he's mine now

_ScareardWay has left the conversation_

FrnkLero: THAT FUCK

Uma-Thurman: Okay, completely off topic, but we have been misgendering. . . Them???  
Uma-Thurman: And I don't wanna do that if we are going to refer to Gerard

FrnkLero: Gee's Genderfluid, but they prefer they/them and she/her pronouns, they'll tell you when they want the different pronouns  
FrnkLero: But now that that's out of the way

You5HeadIsMy4Ever: THAT FUCKING ASSWIPE

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: WHEN I FIND HIM  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: I'M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: NOT ONLY MISGENDERING THEM  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: BUT TREATING THEM LIKE A TROPHY

PizzaMyLove: AND WHAT THE FUCK DID HE MEAN BY JUST BECAUSE HE GOT THEM BEFORE YOU  
PizzaMyLove: ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THEM

FrnkLero: NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO DISCUSS HOW I FEEL TOWARD GEE WHEN THEY NEED SAVING  
FrnkLero: SO IF WE WOULD KINDLY REVERT OUR ATTENTION TO THE FACT  
FrnkLero: THAT MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND  
FrnkLero: IS BEING HELD FUCKING CAPTIVE BY THAT ASSTOWN

AndreeeewHurled: I take back what I said about Gerard actually liking Bert  
AndreeeewHurled: He's nothing but a ugly prick waffle

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET SO FUCKING REAL  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: BRING THAT FUCKER BACK

_PizzaMyLove has added ScareardWay to the conversation_

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK ON MONDAY YOU SLIMY CROTCH JOCKEY

ScareardWay: Oh, I wouldn't do that

_ScareardWay has left the conversation_

PizzaMyLove: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

FrnkLero: WHAT IF HE DOES SOMETHING TO GEE  
FrnkLero: WHAT IF HE HURTS THEM  
FrnkLero: WHAT IF HE BEATS GERARD

Uma-Thurman: Frank

FrnkLero: OH MY GOD  
FrnkLero: WHAT IF HE KILLS THEM

Uma-Thurman: FRANK

FrnkLero: WHAT IF THEY GET PUT IN A COMA  
FrnkLero: WHAT IF HE RAPES THEM

Uma-Thurman: FRANK!!

FrnkLero: GERARD ISN'T EVEN COMFORTABLE WITH TAKING THEIR SHIRT OFF TO GO IN THE SHOWER  
FrnkLero: HOW HAS BERT SEEN THEIR DICK  
FrnkLero: OH MY GOD

PizzaMyLove: CHILL FOR A MOMENT

FrnkLero: Okay, okay, what do we do  
FrnkLero: Me screaming isn't going to help

HaveYouMetYouSunDallon: Any one got any ideas???

My_Names_Blurryface: I've got one

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: Well, what is it????????

My_Names_Blurryface: It sucks

PizzaMyLove: Tell us anyway

_Your5HeadIsMy4Ever has renamed the conversation from FREE BLOB GLOBENSTEIN! FREE HIM to OPERATION SAVE GEE'S ASS FROM THE FIREY CLUTCHES OF BERTS STUPID FACE_

My_Names_Blurryface: Okay, so let's try this. . .

 

***\|/***

 

**_ Gee <3 _ **

  
FrnkLero: We're gonna help you Gee

ScareardWay: Please don't

FrnkLero: Why?

ScareardWay: You'll only make him worse

FrnkLero: Gee?

ScareardWay: I'm only dating him so he'll stop beating us up

  
FrnkLero: What do you mean?  
FrnkLero: GEE  
FrnkLero: GEE ANSWER ME  
FrnkLero: GEE  
FrnkLero: FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY SMALL SON GERARD HAS FINALLY APPEARED  
> WELL CHILD IN THIS STORY
> 
> BUT GERARD HAS SAID IN SOME INTERVIEWS THAT HE FEELS MORE FEMALE THEN HE DOES MALE, WHICH IS PRETTY COOL, SO I LIKE WRITING ABOUT A NON BINARY GERARD
> 
> IF YOU GET ANGRY WITH THAT GO PISS IN SOMEONE ELSES CORNFLAKES, YOU'RE DEALING WITH SOMEONE WHO THEMSELF IS GENDERFLUID SO FITE ME TO THE DEATH.
> 
> Pardon
> 
> Okay so just so everyone is clear;
> 
> These Are Fall Out Boys User-Names;
> 
> PizzaMyLove = Pete  
> Uma-Thurman = Patrick  
> AndreeeewHurled = Andy  
> StJoesphThePatronStOfDying = Joes
> 
> These Are My Chemical Romances;
> 
> FrnkLero = Frank  
> ScareardWay = Gee 
> 
> These Are Panic! At The Discos
> 
> Your5HeadIsMy4Ever = Dallon  
> HaveYouMetMySunDallon = Brendon
> 
> These Are Twenty One Pilots';
> 
> My_Names_Blurryface = Tyler
> 
>  
> 
> :)


	7. Take One For The Team

**_ 9:01 _ **

**_  
OPERATION SAVE GEE'S ASS FROM THE FIREY CLUTCHES OF BERTS STUPID FACE _ **

  
FrnkLero: Guys  
FrnkLero: Operation SGAFTFCOBSF is cancelled

My_Names_Blurryface: But I got Josh ready for the plan  
My_Names_Blurryface: Josh knows Gee  
My_Names_Blurryface: They work at the same music store  
My_Names_Blurryface: Like, I'm gonna add him to the convo like right now so we can finish and add the finishing touches

_My_Names_Blurryface has added DJ-SpookyJim to the conversation_

DJ-SpookyJim: OPERATION SGAFTFCOBSF IS A GO  
DJ-SpookyJim: i think

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS CANCELLED

AndreeeewHurled: Hey Josh, how's the drum fund going?

DJ-SpookyJim: a lack of $ my friend, hows your kit?  
DJ-SpookyJim: such a sweet kit

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: BUT WE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH PLANNING

AndreeeewHurled: Pretty good  
AndreeeewHurled: We should probably get back to the task at hand

Uma-Thurman: Did you talk to them?  
Uma-Thurman: What did they say?

FrnkLero: That we'll only make it worse

DJ-SpookyJim: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "MAKE IT WORSE"  
DJ-SpookyJim: WHAT IS HE ALREADY DOING  
DJ-SpookyJim: AND WHAT IS "WORSE"

Uma-Thurman: I AM STRESSED FRANK  
Uma-Thurman: GET MORE DETAILS

FrnkLero: I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD DO IT

AndreeeewHurled: BUT WHAT IF WE DON'T AND HE STILL HURTS THEM

FrnkLero: I DON'T KNOW ANDY  
FrnkLero: IF I KNEW  
FrnkLero: MY DUMB EMO ASS WOULDN'T BE SITTING HERE SHITTING ITSELF  
FrnkLero: GERARD WOULD BE HERE  
FrnkLero: WITH ME  
FrnkLero: AND MOST IMPORTANTLY   
FrnkLero: SAFE  
FrnkLero: SO IF YOU COCK SLICES WOULD LIKE TO STOP YELLING AT ME  
FrnkLero: AND HELP  
FrnkLero: THAT WOULD BE GRAND

_HaveYouMetMySunDallon has renamed the conversation from OPERATION SAVE GEE'S ASS FROM THE FIREY CLUTCHES OF BERTS STUPID FACE to OPERATION GET GEE ALONE SO WE CAN TALK TO HIM WITHOUT BERT KICKI ANY OR OUR ASSES_

PizzaMyLove: #Relatable

My_Names_Blurryface: Okay, so how do we do that?  
My_Names_Blurryface: Before tomorrow?

DJ-SpookyJim: guys  
DJ-SpookyJim: im ready to take one for the team

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Josh??????

DJ-SpookyJim: bert is in my english lit class  
DJ-SpookyJim: im prepared o run into him and spill red bull on him as we leave

My_Names_Blurryface: NO  
My_Names_Blurryface: YOU'LL DIE  
My_Names_Blurryface: NO WAY  
My_Names_Blurryface: NOPETY NOPE NOPE NOPE  
My_Names_Blurryface: YOU ARE NOT DYING FREN

DJ-SpookyJim: I CAN RUN LIKE NO ONES BUSINESS  
DJ-SpookyJim: LIKE DAT BOI, SHIT WHADDUP  
DJ-SpookyJim: WATCH ME ROLLIN  
DJ-SpookyJim: WATCH ME GO

My_Names_Blurryface: NO  
My_Names_Blurryface: THAT IS NOT HAPPENING

PizzaMyLove: Lovers spat

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Trouble in paradise?

DJ-SpookyJim: TY  
DJ-SpookyJim: FREN

My_Names_Blurryface: WHAT FREN

DJ-SpookyJim: I WANNA RISK MY LIFE TO SAVE ANOTHER  
DJ-SpookyJim: PLEASE FREN  
DJ-SpookyJim: HAVE SOME FAITH

My_Names_Blurryface: I HAVE FAITH IN YOU

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Guys I have a new OTP  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Joshler ftw

My_Names_Blurryface: AND I ALSO HAVE FAITH  
My_Names_Blurryface: THAT BERT WILL BEAT YOU  
My_Names_Blurryface: AND HE WON'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP

DJ-SpookyJim: FAITH FREN  
DJ-SpookyJim: AND IF I DIE  
DJ-SpookyJim: TELL MA SHES THE BEST  
DJ-SpookyJim: AND I LOVE YOU ALL

PizzaMyLove: Nawwwww

DJ-SpookyJim: EXCEPT PETE

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Rekt

FrnkLero: rip

PizzaMyLove: Fuck you

DJ-SpookyJim: You wish

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: Rip

AndreeeewHurled: Suck

My_Names_Blurryface: REKT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JOSHUA
> 
> JISHWA
> 
> WILLIAM
> 
> DUN


	8. Tyler Has A Wonderful Ass

**_ 12:59 _ **

**__ **

**_ OPERATION GET GEE ALONE SO WE CAN TALK TO HIM WITHOUT BERT KICKI ANY OR OUR ASSES _ **

 

DJ-SpookyJim: okay  
DJ-SpookyJim: okay  
DJ-SpookyJim: red bull is ready

My_Names_Blurryface: Are you sure you wanna do this Josh?

DJ-SpookyJim: sure  
DJ-SpookyJim: i mean  
DJ-SpookyJim: death sounds fun I guess

My_Names_Blurryface: You don't have to you know

DJ-SpookyJim: too late  
DJ-SpookyJim: GO OWDCJNSCDEC MSS

FrnkLero: I AM GOING

DJ-SpookyJim: FUCK

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Okay, Josh is past the Art room, you've got an estimated three minutes before he decides to give up

My_Names_Blurryface: The balaclava was a good idea Josh

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: okay, josh has been following the plan, bert is still chasing him around the school, they just shot out onto the soccer pitch

My_Names_Blurryface: HE MADE IT TO THE BLEACHERS  
My_Names_Blurryface: FUCK  
My_Names_Blurryface: HOW DO WE ACT LIKE WE WERE HERE THE WHOLEDORKFMF

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: TYLER??

AndreeeewHurled: JOSH???  
AndreeeewHurled: HE IS BEHIND THE BLEACHERS  
AndreeeewHurled: FUCK  
AndreeeewHurled: OH MY GOD

PizzaMyLove: WHAT  
PizzaMyLove: ARE THEY DEAD

AndreeeewHurled: NO, THEY ARE ALIVE, I THINK  
AndreeeewHurled: BERT JUST CAME AROUND THE BLEACHERS LOOKING REALLY DISGUSTED  
AndreeeewHurled: THEY ARE SAFE  
AndreeeewHurled: He's outta my sight, he's yours now Dallon

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: okay, you're right he does look disgusted  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: and completely covered in red bull  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: he's coming round the corner, frank you better hurry up

FrnkLero: ONE MINUTE

PizzaMyLove: I hate to be the bearer of bad news  
PizzaMyLove: But Bert's entire squad is heading toward you

FrnkLero: DO SOMETHING

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: BERTS COMING  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: HIDE ANYWHERE FRNAK

Uma-Thurman: . . . Frank?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: HES HIDING PAT  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: BE QUIET

FrnkLero: WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE  
FrnkLero: I AM KICKING HIS ASS

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: WHY

FrnkLero: GEE IS COVERED IN BRUISES  
FrnkLero: LIKE COVERED  
FrnkLero: LIKE THEYVE TRIED TO COVER IT UP WITH MAKE UP  
FrnkLero: AND I THOUHT IT WAS JUST HICKEYS  
FrnkLero: BUT THEY ARE BRUISES

AndreeeewHurled: THAT BITCH

Uma-Thurman: WHAT DID THEY SAY

FrnkLero: NOT A LOT  
FrnkLero: BUT THEYRE GONNA TRY AND BREAK UP WITH HIM  
FrnkLero: AND I TOLD THEM NOT TO  
FrnkLero: BECAUSE BERT WON'T JUST ACCEPT IT

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: DUH

FrnkLero: AND THEY HUGGED ME AND TOLD ME THEY WERE SCARED  
FrnkLero: CAUSE HES BEEN THREATENING GERARD TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM

Uma-Thurman: WHAT

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: wHAT

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: WHAT

PizzaMyLove: WHAT

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

FrnkLero: SO I TOLD THEM I WOULDNT LET THAT HAPPEN  
FrnkLero: AND THEY TOLD ME IM THEIR BEST FRIEND  
FrnkLero: AND THAT I MEAN SO MUCH TO THEM

PizzaMyLove: OH MY GOD

FrnkLero: THEN YOU GUYS STARTED BLOWING UP MY PHONE  
FrnkLero: AND THEY LOOKED AROUND NERVOUSLY  
FrnkLero: AND THAT WHEN YOU TOLD ME THAT BERT AND HIS GANG OF THUGS WERE COMING  
FrnkLero: AND WE PANICKED AND THEY KISSED MY CHEEK AND SHOVED ME INTO A LOCKER

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: FUCKING HELL

FrnkLero: AND THEN BERT CAME AROUND THE CORNER AND STARTED CALLING THEM NAMES LIKE "MY BABY" AND "MY DARLING" LIKE HE FUCKING OWNED THEM

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: FUCK THAT

Uma-Thurman: Where are you now Frank?

FrnkLero: Yeah, about that

StJoesphThPatronStOfDying: . . . frank?

FrnkLero: . . .

PizzaMyLove: NO WAY

FrnkLero: . . .

PizzaMyLove: YOURE STUCK IN THE LOCKER ARENT YOU

FrnkLero: . . .

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: LMAO

AndreeeewHurled: SMH AT YOU

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: guys  
Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: where are josh and tyler????

AndreeeewHurled: OMG

PizzaMyLove: WHAT FI THEYRE DEAD

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: TY AND JOSH

FrnkLero: JOSHUA AND TYLER

Uma-Thurman: JOESPH AND DUN

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: JISHWA AND TY-GUY

My_Names_Blurryface: Only I can call him Jishwa

DJ-SpookyJim: we're fine, btw

My_Names_Blurryface: So  
My_Names_Blurryface: What's the plan now?

 _PizzaMyLove has renamed the conversation from OPERATION GET GEE ALONE SO WE CAN TALK TO HIM WITHOUT BERT KICKI ANY OR OUR ASSES to Let's Congregate Over Pizz_a

My_Names_Blurryface: Can it be Taco Bell?

_PizzaMyLove has renamed the conversation from Let's Congregate Over Pizza to Let's Congregate Over Taco Bell, Because Tyler's Pastel Emo Ass Is Obsessed_

My_Names_Blurryface: What's wrong with my Pastel Emo Ass??

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Nothing  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Your ass is quite wonderful

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: excuse me?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: No  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Dall you have the best ass  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: And the best legs ;)

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: shut up

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: <3

PizzaMyLove: OMG STOP YOU ASSHOLES  
PizzaMyLove: THE CUTENESS IS OVERLOADING

_My_Names_Blurryface has changed their name to WonderfulPastelEmoAss_

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment
> 
> It makes my sad Emo ass happy when you do
> 
> :)


	9. *Adore Delano Voice* PARTY

**_ 4:32 _ **

**__ **

**_  
Let's Congregate Over Taco Bell, Because Tyler's Pastel Emo Ass Is Obsessed _ **

 

 

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Guys  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I want Pizza

PizzaMyLove: Did somebody say?  
PizzaMyLove: Pizzzzzzzzzzza?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Yes

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: I know where we can score some free pizza

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Please don't say a party

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Okay  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: It is a large gathering of strangers at one particular house which is equipped with illegal substances for adolescents under the age of twenty one, there will be free Italian circular shaped food, of which we could ingest

PizzaMyLove: Woah, dude  
PizzaMyLove: I'm in, you made it sound less intense

FrnkLero: *adore voice* WOO PARTY

_FrnkLero has attached an image_

PizzaMyLove: Is that Adore Delano?

FrnkLero: YOU WATCH RU PAULS DRAG RACE

PizzaMyLove: I FUCKING LOVE RU PAULS DRAG RACE

FrnkLero: SEASON 6 THOUGH

PizzaMyLove: BIANCA DEL RIO IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE  
PizzaMyLove: LAGANJA IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN

FrnkLero: *laganja voice* I AM FEELING VERY ATTACKED RIGHT NOW

_PizzaMyLove has attached a photo_

PizzaMyLove: *bianca del rio voice* IT WAS VERY CONDESCENDING

FrnkLero: OH MY GOD I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT

PizzaMyLove: HOW??? IT WAS THE MOST ICONIC THING ON TV

FrnkLero: *bianca deal rio voice* I SHOULD PICK YOUR ASS JUST FOR BEING A CUNT

Uma-Thurman: What is happening, oh and not coming

DJ-SpookyJim: I'll go if Ty goes

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Fine fren

DJ-SpookyJim: :)

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: bren?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Yes my love?

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: what about movie night?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Well shit  
HaveYouMetMySunDallon: We'll finish it off at my house and we can watch whatever you want?

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: even political animals?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Yes, even Political Animals

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: even mary poppins?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Yes babe, even Mary Poppins

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: you're the best bren

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: You're better ;)

PizzaMyLove: OH MY GOD  
PizzaMyLove: SHUT THE FUCK UP BOTH OF YOU

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: yeah, okay we're coming

AndreeeewHurled: Joe and I can't come, cause we have a massive maths exam coming up

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Boo, you whores

Uma-Thurman: Wait, you guys aren't gonna drink are you?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: I might get a little bit shitfaced and high

PizzaMyLove: Pat, have you ever been to a party?  
PizzaMyLove: Obviously we're gonna get fucked up

Uma-Thurman: But how will you guys get back?

FrnkLero: Idk  
FrnkLero: Prolly drive

Uma-Thruman: DRIVE DRUNK??????

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Yeah?????

Uma-Thurman: I WILL COME  
Uma-Thurman: But only because I don't want you guys to die

PizzaMyLove: THANKS PAT

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: LOVE YOU PAT

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: YOU ARE THE BEST PAT

Uma-Thurman: Duh  
Uma-Thurman: So who's coming to the party, just so I know how many trips I gotta make??

_PizzaMyLove has renamed the conversation from Let's Congregate Over Taco Bell, Because Tyler's Pastel Emo Ass Is Obsessed to Patrick Is Driving So Which Of You Fuckers Needs A Ride So We Don't Forget Someone???_

Uma-Thurman: Sigh

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Josh and I are in

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Dall and I are coming

PizzaMyLove: Hello, me too

AndreeeewHurled: Joe and me can't come

FrnkLero: WOO PARTY

Uma-Thurman: Okay, so Pete, Josh, Tyler, Dallon, Brendon and Frank?

AndreeeewHurled: Seems that way

Uma-Thurman: Whose house is it at?

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Do you know Ashley?

Uma-Thurman: Short blonde hair??

HaveYouMetMySunDallon: Yeah, she holds this one every year, in the last week of exams.

Uma-Thurman: Cool. Going to Dallon's house first, cause it's down the street, Tyler, are you and Josh at your house?

DJ-SpookyJim: Yeah

Uma-Thurman: Kay, then I'll drive past Frank's then Pete's. Is that cool?

PizzaMyLove: Yup

FrnkLero: *adore delano voice* PARTY


	10. This Was A Terrible Idea

**_ 2:57 _ **

 

 

**_ Patrick Is Driving So Which Of You Fuckers Needs A Ride So We Don't Forget Someone??? _ **

 

 

 

Uma-Thurman: Okay  
Uma-Thurman: Where is everyone?

DJ-SpookyJim: Ty and I are in the basement, we'll meet you out front

PizzaMyLove: PAT  
PizzaMyLove: PAT COME QUICK

Uma-Thurman: WHAT   
Uma-Thurman: WHERE ARE YOU  
Uma-Thurman: WHAT'S WRONG

PizzaMyLove: KITCHEN  
PizzaMyLove: FRANK IS ABOUT TO FIGHT BERT  
PizzaMyLove: BECAUSE HE WAS HOLDING ONTO GERARD'S THROAT  
PizzaMyLove: AND NOT EVEN IN THE KINKY WAY

Uma-Thurman: I AM COMING

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: has anyone seen brendon???

PizzaMyLove: Nope

DJ-SpookyJim: guys I lost Tyler

Uma-Thurman: JESUS CHRIST  
Uma-Thurman: FIND EVERYONE AND MEET ME OUT FRONT  
Uma-Thurman: I GOTTA SORT OUT FRANK

PizzaMyLove: Where are you Josh?

DJ-SpookyJim: Idk  
DJ-SpookyJim: The bathroom

PizzaMyLove: See you there

DJ-SpookyJim: is Patrick sorting Franks dumb ass out?

PizzaMyLove: Yeah  
PizzaMyLove: Ashley is helping him out

DJ-SpookyJim: Help me find ty

PizzaMyLove: Kay

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: no seriously, i cant find brendon anywhere

DJ-SpookyJim: guys I feel fucking sick

PizzaMyLove: Haven't seen Brendon any where  
PizzaMyLove: Josh and I are in the bathroom, we saw Tyler but he was getting pretty close with some girl and now Josh is puking

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: which floor???

PizzaMyLove: Upstairs

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: See you in a bit

Uma-Thurman: Okay, Frank is okay, Gerard is missing, what's wrong with Josh?

PizzaMyLove: Idk Pat  
PizzaMyLove: One second he was rambling about how aliens are fucking real  
PizzaMyLove: And suddenly he sees Tyler dancing with some girl, think he names Jenna?  
PizzaMyLove: And now he's hugging the bowl

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: yo, upstairs is blocked, Pat where are you?

Uma-Thurman: Just heading out of the kitchen  
Uma-Thurman: Think I found Brendon, wanna meet up and find him?

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: why not

FrnkLero: I AM GONNAAA FCUKING KILL SBERT  
FrnkLero: Frank's drunk, who's taking him home?

Uma-Thurman: Gerard?

FrnkLero: Umm, hi?

Uma-Thurman: Did you need a ride home? I'm Frank's ride?

FrnkLero: Yeah, thank you so much  
FrnkLero: Think I'll just crash at his place.  
FrnkLero: And we're gonna find my little brother

PizzaMyLove: Josh is crying

Your5HeadIsMy4Ever: Why?

PizzaMyLove: idk, I think that's just what type of drunk he is

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Josh doesn't get drunk  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Where are you

DJ-SpookyJim: Why do youcare?  
DJ-SpookyJim: go Make Uot with jEnna

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: What do you mean what do I care?  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Jenna and I were just dancing  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Josh are you mad?

PizzaMyLove: He just told me that you should go get fucked  
PizzaMyLove: And that he doesn't matter, and that he won't ever matter  
PizzaMyLove: And now he's mumbling  
PizzaMyLove: I think this party was a bad idea

DJ-SpookyJim: gO be thwi Jenna  
DJ-SpookyJim: You obviolsly like hre  
DJ-SpookyJim: sHes probabably only usign u anyWay

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: You know what Joshua Dun  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Fuck you  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: God forbid anyone would like me for me  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: You know what, there's Jenna now  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Pat, I don't need a ride home

_WonderfulPastelEmoAss has left the conversation_

PizzaMyLove: What the fuck just happened

Uma-Thurman: idk  
Uma-Thurman: But don't add him back  
Uma-Thurman: Give him some time to cool off

_Your5HeadIsMy4Ever has changed their name to BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth_

_BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth has left the conversation_

PizzaMyLove: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Uma-Thurman: BRENDON IS KISSING SOMEONE ELSE

FrnkLero: EWHAT  
FrnkLero: FCUKING HELLL  
FrnkLero: TIHS PATRY IS FCKING DUMB

PizzaMyLove: WHEN  
PizzaMyLove: HOW  
PizzaMyLove: WHO

Uma-Thurman: YOU KNOW RYAN ROSS

PizzaMyLove: YOU MEAN THE GUY THAT FUCKED BRENDON OVER IN SEVENTH GRADE

Uma-Thurman: WELL I HEARD THAT HE WAS TRYING TO GET BRENDON BACK  
Uma-Thurman: AND WHAT A BETTER WAY TO DO THAT THEN BY FUCKING UP THE ONE THING THAT HAS BEEN GOOD IN HIS LIFE  
Uma-Thurman: DALLON

PizzaMyLove: FUCK

Uma-Thurman: I WALKED IN AND RYAN JUST THREW HIMSELF AT BRENDON  
Uma-Thurman: AND THEN DALLON CAME IN AND BRENDON WAS TOO HIGH TO EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON   
Uma-Thurman: BUT WHEN DALLON SCREAMED AT HIM, BRENDON SEEMED TO SOBER UP A BIT  
Uma-Thurman: BUT IT WAS TOO LATE, DALLON HAD RUN OUT AND BRENDON HAD PUSHED RYAN OFF OF HIM  
Uma-Thurman: AND THEN PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE

FrnkLero: I AM GONIG TO STRNLGE THAT FCKER WITH NOE OF HIS FUCKING SCARFES

PizzaMyLove: OH MY FUCKING GOD

Uma-Thurman: THAT'S IT  
Uma-Thurman: PARTY'S OVER  
Uma-Thurman: IF YOU AREN'T DOWNSTAIRS NEXT TO THE CAR IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES,W ITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE FINDING THEIR OWN WAY HOME  
Uma-Thurman: THE CAR IS LEAVING WITH OUT YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a mess
> 
> Why is Ryan such a dick?
> 
> What will happen to Brallon?
> 
> And why is Josh being such an asswipe?
> 
>  
> 
> Comment what you think is gonna happen in the next chapter!


	11. Operation Brallon Requires Some Blackmail

**_ 4:26 _ **

 

 

**_ Patrick Is Driving So Which Of You Fuckers Needs A Ride So We Don't Forget Someone???  _ **

 

 

 

PizzaMyLove: Okay, this chat has been dead for two weeks, I'm considering deleting it, but we need to get operation Brallon back, seeing as Brendon never checks his fucking phone any more and Dallon left, we can plan here.  
PizzaMyLove: Apparently Frank is dead to the world too  
PizzaMyLove: Because Gerard has cut off all contacts, or Bert has idk, we need to sort that out  
PizzaMyLove: And also  
PizzaMyLove: We need to discuss Josh  
PizzaMyLove: And he obviously hasn't checked his phone either, so we can discuss him here  
PizzaMyLove: I haven't seen him/heard from him/heard anything about him in the past two weeks  
PizzaMyLove: Which is weird because I have two classes with him, so you think I'd have seen him by now

Uma-Thurman: Holy smokes  
Uma-Thurman: Where do we start?

PizzaMyLove: Honestly  
PizzaMyLove: I thought you might know

Uma-Thurman: Let's start with Operation Brallon

PizzaMyLove: Okay  
PizzaMyLove: How do we get Dallon to forgive Brendon?

Uma-Thurman: Absolutely no clue

PizzaMyLove: He's got one hell of a voice  
PizzaMyLove: Maybe we make Brendon write him a kick ass song?

Uma-Thurman: No wonder you can't keep a relationship

PizzaMyLove: Hey!

Uma-Thurman: That won't work Pete!  
Uma-Thurman: Dallon wouldn't like it  
Uma-Thurman: And Brendon would probably turn it into something about sex

PizzaMyLove: Not always  
PizzaMyLove: Maybe we can Black mail Ryan into telling Dallon that he was the one to kiss Brendon and took advantage of his High state

Uma-Thurman: That  
Uma-Thurman: Could actually work  
Uma-Thruman: Pete you're a fucking genius

PizzaMyLove: I know

Uma-Thurman: I don't really like it  
Uma-Thurman: But if it'll stop Brendon and Dallon's moping  
Uma-Thurman: We might just have to

PizzaMyLove: Yeah  
PizzaMyLove: But who would have something on Ryan so bad that he'd do anything to keep it a secret?

Uma-Thurman: Perks of being a wallflower my friend  
Uma-Thurman: You get to know some people

_Uma-Thurman has added callmehalsey to the conversation_

callmehalsey: yes  
callmehalsey: hello  
callmehalsey: i am Halsey

PizzaMyLove: I'm sorry, but who are you?

callmehalsey: Halsey  
callmehalsey: or Ashley?  
callmehalsey: apparently it was my banging party that tore your friendship group apart  
callmehalsey: sorry about that btw

PizzaMyLove: Nah  
PizzaMyLove: It's not your fault we have a bunch of dumb ass' in our squad  
PizzaMyLove: But I heard you can help us

callmehalsey: Oh yeah?

PizzaMyLove: Heard you've got some shit on Ryan Ross?  
PizzaMyLove: Really bad stuff  
PizzaMyLove: Blackmail worthy stuff?

callmehalsey: sigh

_callmehalsey has attached an image_   
_callmehalsey has attached an image  
callmehalsey has attached an video_

PizzaMyLove: What are these?

callmehalsey: your blackmail  
callmehalsey: remember  
callmehalsey: you didnt get them from me

PizzaMyLove: Oh my god  
PizzaMyLove: These could end his social life Pat

Uma-Thurman: This is some deep shit

callmehalsey: listen  
callmehalsey: i know ryans kinda a dick  
callmehalsey: but you guys were friends with him at some point  
callmehalsey: and hes kinda my friend too

Uma-Thurman: Yeah, but didn't you see how bad he fucked up Brendon?

callmehalsey: what ryan did to brendon was terrible and i understand why brendon wont forgive him, which is fair  
callmehalsey: i know  
callmehalsey: but brendon has you guys and hopefully dallon  
callmehalsey: ryan barely has anyone  
callmehalsey: just promise me you wont leak these

PizzaMyLove: Just black mail, swear on my life

Uma-Thurman: Same

callmehalsey: thanks guys

PizzaMyLove: Thank you Ashley

callmehalsey: please, call me halsey

Uma-Thurman: Thank you Halesy  
Uma-Thurman: And let's hope this works

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: hey  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: i talked to ryan  
StJosephThePatronStOfDying: he's gonna do it  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: he doesn't know me either, so he is pretty scared and has organised a meeting with Dallon  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: fingers crossed

Uma-Thurman: Okay, that's enough planning for today, I have a massive Biology test tomorrow and Frank said he was coming over to help me out  
Uma-Thurman: That kid has a weird love of plants

_PizzaMyLove has renamed the conversation from Patrick Is Driving So Which Of You Fuckers Needs A Ride So We Don't Forget Someone??? to This Conversation Is Deader Than My Will To Live_

Uma-Thurman: Lovely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't hate Ryan.
> 
> But he needs to be the bad guy in this story.
> 
> Because I hate myself.
> 
> :)
> 
> Comment please! 
> 
> (By the way, the story is kinda set in June roughly, if that's helpful. I'll start adding holidays soon so you all know what's happening)


	12. This Is A Serious Matter

** 8:34 **

****

**  
This Conversation Is Deader Than My Will To Live **

 

_HaveYouMetMySunDallon has changed their name to MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head_

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Okay, that's rude Dallon

_MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head has added BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth to the conversation_

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: you know what i think is rude  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: making out with someone when you have a boyfriend

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Okay  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: That's fair  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: But I was as high as I possibly could've been  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: If you hadn't of shrieked like a banshee  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: I wouldn't have known what was going on

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: fuck you  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: it was necessary

PizzaMyLove: That's true  
PizzaMyLove: What you did was dumb  
PizzaMyLove: How'd you even get that high?

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: I honestly couldn't tell you

Uma-Thurman: So

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: R u guys dating yet?

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: no  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: i need to know if I can trust him

Uma-Thurman: That's fair

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Yeah, but I'm gonna miss being able to hold your hand and cuddle you and love you

PizzaMyLove: Yeah  
PizzaMyLove: But if you guys get back together  
PizzaMyLove: You'll learn to miss missing him  
PizzaMyLove: Because you'll remember when you fucked up  
PizzaMyLove: And you'll never do it again

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: i feel the need to bitch slap u  
StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: and i dont even know y

Uma-Thurman: Weird  
Uma-Thurman: So do I

PizzaMyLove: Please don't bitch slap me

callmehalsey: hey  
callmehalsey: guys  
callmehalsey: i dyed my hair fucking blue  
callmehalsey: it looks so fucking sick

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Pics or it didn't happen

_callmehalsey has attached an image  
callmehalsey has attached an image_

PizzaMyLove: Damn  
PizzaMyLove: If I was into girls, I'd totally wanna date you

callmehalsey: why thank u peter

Uma-Thurman: You look lovely Halsey  
Uma-Thurman: The blue really makes your eyes stand out

PizzaMyLove: Wow Pat  
PizzaMyLove: How incredibly gay of you

Uma-Thurman: Shut up

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: LANGUAGE

_MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head has added WonderfulPastelEmoAss to the conversation_

Uma-Thurman: Isn't Tyler at basketball?

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: yeah??  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: and???

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: How many weeks has it been since the party?

PizzaMyLove: About three and a half??

Uma-Thurman: Has anyone seen Josh since then?

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: nah

AndreeeewHurled: I haven't

PizzaMyLove: I went to his house, his Parents said he had gone out, so no

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Nope

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: no

callmehalsey: no sorry

Uma-Thurman: I'm really worried

callmehalsey: same  
callmehalsey: has anyone tried talking to tyler???

PizzaMyLove: Yeah, but he doesn't talk about Josh  
PizzaMyLove: They had a fight when Josh saw Tyler dancing  
PizzaMyLove: OH MY FUCKING GOD

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: WHAT

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: WHAT

PizzaMyLove: I THINK I KNOW WHY JOSH IS SO MAD  
PizzaMyLove: BUT WE GOTTA GET TYLER TO RESPOND TO US

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: TYLER

callmehalsey: TYLER

Uma-Thurman: TYLER LOOK AT YOUR PHONE

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: TYLER

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: TYLER

AndreeeewHurled: TYLER

PizzaMyLove: PUCK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE

Uma-Thurman: I'm gonna call him

PizzaMyLove: Anything???????

Uma-Thurman: No

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: What do you guys want?

PizzaMyLove: WHY IS JOSH MAD AT YOU

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I don't know  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Haven't talked to him since the fight

PizzaMyLove: Well guess what

Uma-Thurman: Neither have we

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: What?

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: none of us have even seen him

AndreeeewHurled: And it's been almost four weeks

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: WHAT??!!?!?!

Uma-Thurman: So do you have any idea where he is?  
Uma-Thurman: Or why he's mad?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: NO  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I'm gonna go find him

PizzaMyLove: Tyler?

callmehalsey: He might be calling him?

_PizzaMyLove has renamed the conversation from This Conversation Is Deader Than My Will To Live to Operation Find Josh Dun At All Costs_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, it makes me feel really good, even if you're calling me a piece of shit, because that'll make me laugh :)
> 
>  
> 
> I also saw Nerve today.  
> That movie is the shit.  
> Made my anxiety spike like a motherfucker, but damn it was good
> 
>  
> 
> But really, where did Josh go


	13. Tyler, Don't File A Missing Persons' Case

**_ 6:34 _ **

**__ **

**_ Operation Find Josh Dun At All Costs _ **

 

 

 

  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: JOSH ISN'T AT HIS HOUSE  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: HIS PARENT SJUST SHRUGGED WHN I ASKED HIM WHERE HE WAS AND SAID HE PACKED A DUFFEL AND TOOK HIS CAR  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: THEY SAID THIS IS NORMAL  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT IT IS NOT

PizzaMyLove: WOAH  
PizzaMyLove: They're not even worried? Like not even a little bit?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: NO!!!  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME THE MOST                                        WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I AM CALLING THE POLICE  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: WHAT IF JOSH GOT IN A CAR CRASH??  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: WHAT IF HE GOT ABDUCTED BY ALIENS, HES OBSESSED ENOUGH THAT HE WOULD LET THEM TAKE HIM??  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: WHAT IF HES DEAD??

Uma-Thurman: Okay, Tyler, you just need to relax and we'll sort this out.  
Uma-Thurman: Is there a reason Josh's parents don't seem to care that he's been missing for four weeks?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: no  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Not that I can think of

PizzaMyLove: I have a question

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: Speak up dude

PizzaMyLove: Is Josh gay?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: What does this have to do with anything?

PizzaMyLove: IDK  
PizzaMyLove: Just a question

Uma-Thurman: Well thanks for nothing Pete.

callmehalsey: should i try calling him?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: And why would he respond to you and not any of us?

callmehalsey: maybe because i dont turn every little thing into something about me??

PizzaMyLove: We do not

callmehalsey: oh yeah  
callmehalsey: that's reassuring  
callmehalsey: do u want me text him or not?

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: yes, thank you Halsey

 

 

 

***\|/***

 

 

 

**_ 6:59 _ **

**_ Spooky _ **

 

callmehalsey: josh?  
callmehalsey: josh, we are all really worried about u

 

**_ 11:34 _ **

 

DJ-SpookyJim: no youre not

callmehalsey: oh my god  
callmehalsey: youre alive at least  
callmehalsey: thank god

DJ-SpookyJim: what do u want?

callmehalsey: come home josh  
callmehalsey: please

DJ-SpookyJim: you all seem to be doing pretty well without me

callmehalsey: that's not true  
callmehalsey: tyler's freaking out without u

DJ-SpookyJim: no hes not  
DJ-SpookyJim: he's got jenna now anyway  
DJ-SpookyJim: he doesnt need me

callmehalsey: what do you mean now hes got jenna??

DJ-SpookyJim: you know, his girlfriend?

callmehalsey: why does that affect him not needing u?

DJ-SpookyJim: promise you wont tell?

callmehalsey: for sure

DJ-SpookyJim: im not sure if youre aware of operation oggaswctthwbkaooa?

callmehalsey: that the one you spilt red bull on bert is it?

DJ-SpookyJim: yeah  
DJ-SpookyJim: so basically, i was running from bert in a ski mask and i run behind the bleachers and basically tyler and i start panicking, coz if it doesnt look like we were there the whole time we were dead, right?

callmehalsey: for sure??

DJ-SpookyJim: and in a split second decision i threw my mask down, shoved tyler onto it so it was hidden and basically, well, started kissing him

callmehalsey: NO FUCKING WAY  
callmehalsey: WHAT

DJ-SpookyJim: i know  
DJ-SpookyJim: which is probably the dumbest thing ever, but I started straddling him and making out w/ him and basically, it worked  
DJ-SpookyJim: bert came around the corner, no ski mask, just two boys making out, called us fags, which is weird cause he's dating gerard who he thinks is a boy and walked away

callmehalsey: OH MY FUCKING GOD

DJ-SpookyJim: but the thing is once bert left, i pulled away and started apologising because holy shit

callmehalsey: duh

DJ-SpookyJim: and he tells me its no big deal  
DJ-SpookyJim: and pulls me into another kiss  
DJ-SpookyJim: that is why we took so long to respond

callmehalsey: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK  
callmehalsey: SO ARE U DATING??

DJ-SpookyJim: okay, so here is the bit you cant tell anyone

callmehalsey: oh god josh no

DJ-SpookyJim: i havent said anything yet

callmehalsey: i have a feeling i KNOW what youre gonna say any way  
callmehalsey: how long???

DJ-SpookyJim: how long what?

callmehalsey: dont play dumb joshua  
callmehalsey: how long have u had a crush on him???

DJ-SpookyJim: since like the fourth grade, when some bully shoved me in the mud and he came and threw himself down next to me saying "now you won't look as dumb"

callmehalsey: OH SHIT  
callmehalsey: FUCK JOSH

DJ-SpookyJim: and i thought we had something, you know?  
DJ-SpookyJim: we were always holding hands and he would invite me over to make out w/ him and cuddle and watch the x-files and he would laugh when I got excited about a certain part and kiss my nose. and when he wanted me to pay attention to him he would tug on my nose ring. and i just felt really loved you know?  
DJ-SpookyJim: and then he starts dancing with jenna  
DJ-SpookyJim: like grinding on her  
DJ-SpookyJim: and i saw her giving him a hickey  
DJ-SpookyJim: and i saw him kissing her  
DJ-SpookyJim: and idk dude  
DJ-SpookyJim: i just felt my world kinda crash down coz i honestly thought that he wanted me you know? that maybe someobody would finally love me for me. and i thought he did. like, he would say the nicest things and tell me how cute i was and none of it was true  
DJ-SpookyJim: but he doesn't love me  
DJ-SpookyJim: he prolly never did  
DJ-SpookyJim: and he prolly never will  
DJ-SpookyJim: but he didnt have to lead me on  
DJ-SpookyJim: im just  
DJ-SpookyJim: why would he hurt me like that??  
DJ-SpookyJim: i thought he at least cared about me as a friend??

callmehalsey: dude that shit is fucked up

DJ-SpookyJim: he didnt even have the audacity to tell me he didnt want me like that  
DJ-SpookyJim: i just couldnt stick around and watch him fall in love

callmehalsey: nah  
callmehalsey: fuck that  
callmehalsey: im getting u 2 together

DJ-SpookyJim: hes happy with jenna  
DJ-SpookyJim: just drop it

callmehalsey: YOU deserve to be happy too  
callmehalsey: and tbh  
callmehalsey: he looks way happier with you then he does with her

DJ-SpookyJim: yeah right  
DJ-SpookyJim: whatever  
DJ-SpookyJim: dont expect me back anytime soon.

callmehalsey: promise youll keep us updated so we know youre not dead?  
callmehalsey: tyler was about ready to file a missing person case

DJ-SpookyJim: no promises

callmehalsey: josh

DJ-SpookyJim: fine  
DJ-SpookyJim: ill text you that im alive every day, are you happy???

callmehalsey: very  
callmehalsey: one last thing before u ignore us all again

DJ-SpookyJim: what?

callmehalsey: why did u leave?

DJ-SpookyJim: told my parents i was as gay as a rainbow and making out with tyler  
DJ-SpookyJim: kicked me out

callmehalsey: jesus  
callmehalsey: im sorry dude

DJ-SpookyJim: its whatever

callmehalsey: josh?  
callmehalsey: josh  
callmehalsey: fuck

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOMB
> 
> TYLER IS A DICK
> 
> JOSH IS A TINY BEAN
> 
> HALSEY SHIPS JOSHLER
> 
> JOSH WON'T COME BACK
> 
> HOW WILL THEY GET HIM BACK
> 
> AND HIS PARENTS ARE ALSO DICKS
> 
> And that concludes this weeks episode of THISISTRASH
> 
> See you next time


	14. Tyler Is An Asshole

**_ 9:34 _ **

**__ **

**_ Operation Find Josh Dun At All Costs _ **

 

  
callmehalsey: TYLER ROBERT JOSEPH

PizzaMyLove: Oh shit  
PizzaMyLove: She middle named you bro

callmehalsey: yOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

Uma-Thurman: WOAH  
Uma-Thurman: THERE IS NO NEED FOR THAT LANGUAGE

callmehalsey: SHUT THE FUCK UP TRICK  
callmehalsey: JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR WHAT THAT INCONSIDERATE BITCH BALONEY DID

Uma-Thurman: Wow  
Uma-Thurman: Tyler, she's pissed, I'd answer her

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: YOUNG PADAWAN  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: YOU MUST NOT SWEAR

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: What have I done?

callmehalsey: oh, i dont know  
callmehalsey: maybe  
callmehalsey: break josh duns beautiful gay heart???

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: What?  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Josh isn't gay??

PizzaMyLove: I FUCKING KNEW IT  
PizzaMyLove: OH PLEASE  
PizzaMyLove: EVERY TIME HE SAW YOUR FAT ASS, HE WAS PRACTICALLY DROOLING

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: That's not true

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Are you serious???  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: He called me up drunk one time, confessing his love to you  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: And then realised what he did and asked me not to tell anyone

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: You're lying

PizzaMyLove: RING  
PizzaMyLove: RING  
PizzaMyLove: RING

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: What are you doing Pete?

PizzaMyLove: OH I AM SORRY  
PizzaMyLove: THAT IS JUST MY  
PizzaMyLove: "YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP," ALARM

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: He would have told me if he was gay and had feelings for me though?

callmehalsey: DON'T ACT SO FUCKING INNOCENT  
callmehalsey: U FUCKING USED HIM AS A FUCK BUDDY UP UNTIL JENNA  
callmehalsey: JOSH THOUGHT U GENUINELY LIKED HIM

Uma-Thurman: WHAT!!!!?!!!?!?!

PizzaMyLove: WHAT

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: NO WAY

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: WHAT

PizzaMyLove: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FUCK BUDDY????!!!

callmehalsey: SO APPARENTLY  
callmehalsey: JOSHUA DURING THE PLAN OF SPILL RED BULL ON BERT

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: YOU MEAN OPERATION OGGASWCTTHWBKAOOA???

callmehalsey: SURE  
callmehalsey: THAT  
callmehalsey: JOSH HAD PANICKED BECUASE HOW DID THEY MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME??

PizzaMyLove: Panic!ked*

callmehalsey: SO IN A SPLIT SECOND DECISION JOSH HAD STARTED MAKING OUT WITH FUCKDEER OVER HERE  
callmehalsey: AND IT WORKED, BERT LEFT

Uma-Thurman: OH MY FUCKING GOD

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: BUT OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST

callmehalsey: AND UR SCUMBAG BUDDY  
callmehalsey: WHEN JOSH PULLED AWAY, APOLOGISING TYLER PULLE DHIM BACK TO MAKE OUT MORE, THAT'S WHY THEY DIDN'T RESPOND FOR SO LONG

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Did he tell you this?

callmehalsey: yES  
callmehalsey: APPARENTLY  
callmehalsey: HE HAS HAD A CRUSH IN YOU SINCE FORUTH GRADE

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: No

callmehalsey: LET ME FIND HIS EXACT WORDS  
callmehalsey: since like the fourth grade, when some bully shoved me in the mud and he came and threw himself down next to me saying "now you won't look as dumb"

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Oh my god  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: It's true  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Only we know how we met  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Oh my god

callmehalsey: and U FUCKING LED HIM ON  
callmehalsey: AND BROKE HIS HEART  
callmehalsey: AND HE SAID HE WOULDN'T STICK AROUND  
callmehalsey: AND WATCH U FALL IN LOVE  
callmehalsey: WITH SOMEONE THAT WASN'T HIM

PizzaMyLove: Josh  
PizzaMyLove: Oh my god

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: that is heavy

callmehalsey: how could u do that tyler? did u not even care about him as a friend? y did u use him like that?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I don't know

callmehalsey: so what are u going to do?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Jenna  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I need to talk to Jenna

callmehalsey: aRE U FUCKING SERIOUS???

PizzaMyLove: Are you breaking up with her?????

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I need to talk to Jenna

callmehalsey: UR SUPPOSED TO TALK TO JOSH GOD DAMMIT

Uma-Thurman: Maybe he's breaking up with Jenna?

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: jesus, this is not good

_callmehalsey has renamed the conversation from Operation Find Josh Dun At All Costs to The Drama Filled Lives of The Emos of Belleville High (And Operation Joshler)_

callmehalsey: FUCK this  
callmehalsey: im finding josh

Uma-Thurman: What do you mean you're finding Josh?  
Uma-Thurman: He could be half way across the States

callmehalsey: fuck, youre right

PizzaMyLove: Maybe trick him into telling you where he is?

callmehalsey: that could work  
callmehalsey: okay 


	15. Fuck, I Fucked Up

**_ 1:34 _ **

**__ **

**_ The Drama Filled Lives of The Emos of Belleville High (And Operation Joshler) _ **

 

  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Fuck  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Fuck, I fucked up

PizzaMyLove: What do you mean?

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: just a question pete  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: do you ever sleep?????

PizzaMyLove: No  
PizzaMyLove: And what do you mean Tyler?  
PizzaMyLove: Apart from, you know, breaking your best friend's heart, making him fall in love with you and then making out with some other girl?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I talked to Jenna  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: She said she knew

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: AND SHE MADE OUT WITH YOU ANYWAY?!?!?!

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: SHE SAID SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS THE BEARD

PizzaMyLove: Oh  
PizzaMyLove: Wow

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT JOSH AND I WEREN'T A THING  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: SHE SAID SHE HAD WALKED PAST THE BACK OF THE BLEACHERS DURING OPERATION OGGASWCTTHWBCAOOA  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: AND WHEN I HAD ASKED HER OUT, SHE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS FOR HER TO BE THE BEARD

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: oh  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: wow

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: AND SHE SAID THAT SHE KNEW JOSH WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: BUT SHE THOUGHT I KNEW THAT  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: SHE THOUGHT WE WERE BOTH OKAY WITH IT  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: SHE CALLED ME A DICK

PizzaMyLove: To be fair  
PizzaMyLove: That's exactly what you are

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Beside the point, how do I get Josh back?

_WonderfulPastelEmoAss has added jenna.blue to the conversation_

jenna.blue: I have caused distress  
jenna.blue: For which I am most sorry  
jenna.blue: I mean no disrespect  
jenna.blue: But I am very perplexed by your ways

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Why did you invite her?

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: She is here to help  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Please don't kill her

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Why shouldn't we?

jenna.blue: I mean no trouble  
jenna.blue: I honestly thought that I was the beard  
jenna.blue: I thought they were the cutest couple ever  
jenna.blue: I am sorry

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: hey ty

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: What?

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: we should change your name to brendon's

callmehalsey: oH SHIT

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: DOES THAT MEAN I CAN CHANGE MY NAME

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: no

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: FUCK

PizzaMyLove: SO  
PizzaMyLove: Does ANYONE HAVE a plan?

callmehalsey: im on josh watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one, but I hope you liked it, sorry it took so long to upload, MY school had exams *death*
> 
> Any way, JENNA ISN'T A DICK
> 
> Yay
> 
> Iguess


	16. 03:07

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?
> 
>  
> 
> Back again?

** _3:07_ **

** _  
The Drama Filled Lives of The Emos of Belleville High (And Operation Joshler)_ **

 

PizzaMyLove: My clock have stopped  
PizzaMyLove: At fuckig 3:07

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: lol, your actually gonna die

PizzaMyLove: This  
PizzaMyLove: Is  
PizzaMyLove: Not  
PizzaMyLove: The  
PizzaMyLove: Time  
PizzaMyLove: To  
PizzaMyLove: Joke  
PizzaMyLove: Dallon   
PizzaMyLove: You   
PizzaMyLove: Apricot

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: why is it, that were all insomniacs & were all friends  
StJosephThePatronStOfDying: its really grinding my gears

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: oh shut up  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: u love it

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: debatable concept mr college professor

PizzaMyLove: I AM GOING TO DIE  
PizzaMyLove: WHY DO NONE OF YOU FUCKS CARE

Uma-Thurman: Because, you're annoying as heck

PizzaMyLove: Trick  
PizzaMyLove: My oldest friend  
PizzaMyLove: You've let them brainwash you

_Uma-Thurman has left the conversation_

_PizzaMyLove has added Uma-Thurman to the conversation_

jenna.blue: Kindly return to your quarters of sleep

_Uma-Thurman has left the conversation_

PizzaMyLove: Fuckin Patrick

_PizzaMyLove has added Uma-Thurman to the conversation_

StJosephThePatronStOfDying: I've learnt to just mute the conversation before sleeping

jenna.blue: Are they always this way?

_Uma-Thurman has left the conversation_

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: short answer

_PizzaMyLove has added Uma-Thurman to the conversation_

StJoesphThePatronStOfDying: yes

_Uma-Thurman has left the conversation_

 

*\|/*

 

  
**_ 3:28 _ **

**_ Dall <3 :( _ **

 

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Hey Dall

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: bren, hey, whats up??

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: I miss you. Like, too much.

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: u shouldve thought about that before making out w/ ryan

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: I know you're mad  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: I know my being higher then a kite is no excuse  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: But I miss you  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: So much  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: And I would never intentionally hurt you, you do know that right?

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: you know ive forgiven u  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: my question is if i can trust u

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: I'll do anything

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: work things out with ryan

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Anything but that

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: i don't mean u have 2 be his best friend  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: just, ive been talking to him since he came and told me to get back together with u  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: and he explained why he did what he did  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: and he feels like shit for doing that to u  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: and wants to make it up to u

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: No

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: please??  
BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: for me?

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Fine

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: yay!!!!

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: But only because I miss your legs

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: why am i not surprised

 

 

***\|/***

**  
6:03 **

** The Drama Filled Lives of The Emos of Belleville High (And Operation Joshler) **

 

_PizzaMyLove has added Uma-Thurman to the conversation_

Uma-Thurman: Actually fuck you Pete Wentz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about literally the past couple of decades, I know, Jesus, this took me way too long to write, I know where it's going, I don't know how it's gonna get there, but I know where it's going.
> 
> YEET, has anyone seen Rogue One? Carrie Fisher my love. How was/is everyone's holidays going?
> 
> I hope they've been good, how ever you celebrate this season.
> 
> Feel free to tell me what has happened in your holidays down below. Or just feel free to yell at me, that's fair, I get that and once again I'm sorry.


	17. The Resurrection And Forgiveness Of Our Lord And Savior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BITCH
> 
> AH HA
> 
> DA FUQ
> 
>  
> 
> I'm back with a new chapter and oooooOOOOOOO
> 
> Some stuff went down my guys.

**_ 4:37 _ **

**_  
The Drama Filled Lives of The Emos of Belleville High (And Operation Joshler) _ **

 

PizzaMyLove: So operation Brallon is complete

Uma-Thurman: I'm sorry, but who are you?

PizzaMyLove: Excuse me?

Uma-Thurman: I'm sorry, but this is a REASONABLE time to be texting something in the group chat.  
Uma-Thurman: Are you feeling okay?  
Uma-Thurman: Do I need to call someone, or are you an imposter?

PizzaMyLove: Ha

Uma-Thurman: Wait  
Uma-Thurman: What do you mean "Operation Brallon is complete"?

PizzaMyLove: No, you were mean

Uma-Thurman: Ugh, I'm sorry Pete

PizzaMyLove: Damn right bitch  
PizzaMyLove: They're getting it on in Halsey's room

callmehalsey: yeah, why are you lot in my house??

PizzaMyLove: 'Cause

callmehalsey: great reasoning asshole

Uma-Thurman: HOW LONG

PizzaMyLove: How long what?

Uma-Thurman: HOW LONG HAS BRALLON BEEN TOGETHER??

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: u know were apart of this chat right?

callmehalsey: oh my god thank you for stopping fucking in my room

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Who said we stopped ;)

Uma-Thurman: I have to go throw up now

callmehalsey: cant u fuck on some1 elses bed???

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: I wish we could my guy

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: no more sex

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Why

PizzaMyLove: POUR ME ANOTHER BREW SON

Uma-Thurman: ???

PizzaMyLove: Uncultured swine

_Uma-Thurman has left the conversation_

 

 

**  
*\|/***

 

 

**  
5:01 **

**  
PattyCakes :) **

  
Uma-Thurman: Wait, invite me back, I wanna talk to Brendon and Dallon

PizzaMyLove: Then why did you leave?

Uma-Thurman: To prove a point?? Obviously??

 

**_  
*\|/*_ **

**__ **

 

**_  
5:03 _ **

**_ The Drama Filled Lives of The Emos of Belleville High (And Operation Joshler) _ **

**__ **

_  
PizzaMyLove has added Uma-Thurman to the conversation._

Uma-Thurman: So like, how long have you guys been together now? Why didn't you tell us? Why'd you forgive him Dall? I'm so confused.

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Short answer, I talked to Ryan

PizzaMyLove: WHAT???????!?!!!!!

Uma-Thurman: WHAT!!!!????.?!?

callmehalsey: wHAT!!!!????????

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I have arrived but whAT!????!??!!!!!

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Yeah, we talked it out, thanks to Dall's suggestion and the promise of being able to stare at his legs whenever I wanted and being able to glare at anyone else who stared at his legs.

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: This is all well and good but what did Ryan say??????  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: Like yay, you're together again, but Ryan???

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: He'd rather not have me tell everyone.  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: But I forgive him.  
MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: And I, kinda miss him???

BrendonUrieIsTheScumOfThisEarth: i kinda h8 to say it, but i kinda missed him too

WonderfulPastelEmoAss: I think  
WonderfulPastelEmoAss: On some level

Uma-Thurman: We all did?

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: It's gone take time

PizzaMyLove: But??

MyFuckUpIsAlmostAsBigAsMy4Head: Maybe we could be friends again.

 

 


End file.
